WEIRD

That's the only way I can describe it. Being separated from Z just feels weird. I miss him. Today was the first time I have been ALONE in my house in almost 4 months! I have been away from Z before...but always with someone else...like at book club, PEO, with Matt, with mom, etc. So this week is the first time to be on my own. I feel a little...lost?!?! I know it sounds silly, but it is what it is. What if I enjoy being at work? What if I cant do my job as good as before? What if I miss him too much...or not enough? Will I still be a good mommy even though I am not with him all the time?????

Yes, these are the things I thought about today on the massage table. The massage was really nice, but man, my brain was racing!!!!!! About work, about Z, about Matt & me, about my 3 month postpartum body, about another baby....and a slew of other things that I thought would be good to be blog about but now I cant remember squat!

we are headed to the beach tomorrow....dropping the z man off with grandma and popsie. they cannot WAIT!!!!!! Mom has hit the local 2nd hand store and has cleaned up. she bought a stroller, play mat, and swing and who knows what else?? z and i stayed the night there Sunday night so he would have a night in his crib there too. I think he will be alright! Hopefully I will be too!!!!!!!