A year ago today.......

I found out we were pregnant! I was just looking at something and noticed today was the date, 5/29!! How exciting! Finally seeing those 2 pink lines was so exciting!! And with knowing that Sue, Theresa, and Kari are all preggo again, it brings back all the memories of that initial joy, excitement, shock, and anticipation! So excited for all of them. Answered prayers for sure!! Speaking of babies...wow, do I know a lot of pregnant people right now! Let's see...between now and January due are Miranda, Ashley, Charla (with twins), Ashley, Kristen D, another friend, Susan, Katie's SIL (ok, i dont know her personally but I know of her), Theresa, and Kari. And I think I may be missing someone too! And I know Allison G is due sometime soon too, right?? I tell ya...I would be ready to do it again now but don't think Daddy-o is quite ready. Who knows, maybe we will get lucky this fall!

Ok so work...I am surviving. I have cried every day leaving. But it gets easier too. Thankfully everyone at work was happy and excited to see me and I snapped right back into the mix of things. It was weird, like the first day of school. But overall, it hasn't been too bad. Z's daycare gives him little progress reports every day so those are neat to read. And man, you cannot BEAT the smiles and coos that you get at pick up time. Its funny, cause he doesn't notice you at first...and then BAM! SMILES for MILES! Love it! I have decided I think I am going to have Matt start dropping off. I don't think I should have to do both and dropping is too hard for me. Plus picking up I am closer and can get there faster!

I think thats about it for now. I will post some pics soon...its been too long! TGIF!!!!!!!!!

Working 9 to 5!

That's right folks, tomorrow is the big return to work. Not much to say that I haven't already said! Nervous, anxious, sad, worried, etc.... But I am glad we did the visit last week to day care so hopefully it wont be as bad. I am thankful Kerri will be at work too so I have someone to be there for more. And its a 4 day week so that helps too.

We had a good weekend at the Beach too. It was great to be around friends and relax although I missed Zach. It was harder than I thought. I think a lot of it had to do with me going back to work tomorrow and not as much as being away from Z. Bad timing. But all in all, it was fine. My folks had a great time with Z (although tired at the end with the early morning wake-ups). Zach was glad to see me (or I tell myself). We had lots of snuggling and napping and cuddling over the rest of the weekend.

Yesterday Ginny and Paige came over. It was SO good to see them both. I miss Ginny and wish they lived here in Houston so we could see them more. I hope they make it down here some time. Paige is a sweet pea too. She and Zach took some pics which I will get posted eventually. They will be great if one day they end up getting married! ;-)

Anyway, not much else going on now. Will try to get to bed early so I can be human tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes!

WEIRD

That's the only way I can describe it. Being separated from Z just feels weird. I miss him. Today was the first time I have been ALONE in my house in almost 4 months! I have been away from Z before...but always with someone else...like at book club, PEO, with Matt, with mom, etc. So this week is the first time to be on my own. I feel a little...lost?!?! I know it sounds silly, but it is what it is. What if I enjoy being at work? What if I cant do my job as good as before? What if I miss him too much...or not enough? Will I still be a good mommy even though I am not with him all the time?????

Yes, these are the things I thought about today on the massage table. The massage was really nice, but man, my brain was racing!!!!!! About work, about Z, about Matt & me, about my 3 month postpartum body, about another baby....and a slew of other things that I thought would be good to be blog about but now I cant remember squat!

we are headed to the beach tomorrow....dropping the z man off with grandma and popsie. they cannot WAIT!!!!!! Mom has hit the local 2nd hand store and has cleaned up. she bought a stroller, play mat, and swing and who knows what else?? z and i stayed the night there Sunday night so he would have a night in his crib there too. I think he will be alright! Hopefully I will be too!!!!!!!

Slacking

I know, I have been lax on the blogging. Being as this is my last week with Z man before headed back to work, I have just been busy! Monday was spent all day shopping with mom and Z. We hit the new outlet mall and man did Z make out good. He got some CUTE stuff!

Tuesday was drop Z off for a half day at daycare...lunch, grocery shopping, shopping.

And today was Zach's full day at day care to which I cashed in gift certificates for a mani & pedi and then a hair cut, followed by bathing suit shopping to keep me BUSY! It wasn't terrible, but wasn't great either as I have not yet motivated to get the diet properly going unlike my hubs who has lost 20+ lbs (Go Hubs!) If you want to read a funny post, go visit Ginny and read about her most recent post-baby bathing suit shopping experience. Anyway, I heard the phantom crying sometimes still today and missed my little buddy being around. His teachers said he did great and he was happy and smiley again so that makes mommy happy.

Tomorrow morning I am get a massage (cashing in another g.c.) while Z is at his last faux day before the real schedule starts. He is only doing a half day. Then I am picking him up and we are going to meet Daddy for lunch. And sometime during this day I need to be packing for the weekend. Oh yeah, and Esther has had diarrhea for the last several days....so taking a visit to the vet at 4pm too. I hope my baby girl is okay! Um yeah, I am busy!

So besides the fact of being sad about missing my baby boy and all that goes along that...I am worried I wont be as good at my job any more! Like I still feel dumb sometimes. Wasn't pregnancy supposed to be gone?? How long does mom-nesia last?? I can't think fast enough, of the right word, remember what I did five minutes before, etc etc etc. I took a lot of pride in my job, relationships with customers and my traders before and I worry it wont be the same any more. I feel like I am starting a first day at school or something.

Anyway, there are a lot more things running through this muddled brain of mine but I will leave it at that for now.

Night night!

First Drop off

Today was Zach's first time at daycare by himself. I knew we needed to get this done sometime before I went back to work as to not appear like a crazy crying woman next Tuesday at the office. My plan was to get Z there and go grocery shopping afterwards. My friend Kerri must have been psychic today as she knew I needed someone to go to lunch with today. So after dropping Z off with his many bags of stuff (he over packs just like his mommy), I headed to meet Kerri. Of course I cried when I left Zach but thankfully he was smiling so that made it a little easier. Anyway, Kerri and I had Pei Wei and she listened to my ramblings. Then I got the grocery shopping done and was headed to get my nails done only to find out they were way too busy. So I opted for a little shopping instead. And then it was 3pm and I decided that 4 hours away was long enough!

When I got in to pick him up, he was chilling in the boppy having just finished his bottle....and gave me the BIGGEST grin ever when he saw me!! He took his afternoon nap there as well and went on his first buggy ride! The ladies said he was great and the only time he even fussed was when he was hungry. I laughed, cause that's just what he does. He lets you know when he is HUNGRY and ready to eat! :) So all in all, sounds like he did good. We came home and had snuggle and play time before it was time for his last cat nap for the day.

Tomorrow I will drop him for closer to the whole day while I get my hair done, etc. I wanted to experience a whole day away before it happened at the office. Wish me luck.

Anyway, we survived and I pray it gets easier as time goes by! Now off to cuddle my sleeping boy!

Zach's Story

A year ago today we had our first IUI, the second one was tomorrow. One of which created Zachary! The story began with us using a different RE, we will call him DrMcYucky. We had been with him for about six months and for various different delays, only did two injectible cycles with him, both of which were cancelled before we even got to the IUI point. The first cycle was cancelled due to me not responding well enough to the meds, and the second one for my testo being too high. Both extremely disappointing and frustrating as we had paid all the money out of pocket for blood work, ultrasounds and medicine without getting to the point where we could do an IUI and have hopes of making a baby! So after the second failed cycle, we decided to go for a 2nd opinion and never called DrMcYucky's office back again.

We went to see Dr Gill who validated that he didn't like our first offices procedures and reasoning for cancelling either. He also felt he could get us pregnant, just not sure how long it may take. The plan was for us to call him when I started my next cycle and we would go from there. We waited and waited and when nothing still had happened. I put off calling for a few days and then finally after some prodding from some friends, I called. He wanted me to come back in and take a look to see what was going on. It was my mom's birthday and for some reason too I had the day off. I went to the appointment, actually even discussed moving to IVF over the summer after my brother's wedding. We did an ultrasound and saw what looked like a mature follicle, something I hadn't seen before. Did some blood work and they said they would be in touch with a plan. I remember calling my mom crying to tell her about the appointment and the possibility of invitro. Then I headed out to surprise her for lunch. While we were at lunch, I got a phone call from the nurse telling me that indeed, it was a mature egg and we had two choices: 1) come in tomorrow for an IUI or 2) give it a try on our own. I called Becky before I called Matt to ask her what she would do? Its not cheap but since we had never gotten to this point before, and now here we were, and the option was finally there...should we go for it? She agreed that this was just too coincidental, and to go for it. She said she had a good feeling. I called Matt and he agreed. The next day, it was a Friday, I went in for my first IUI. Matt couldn't be there for the procedure since we were both working and I remember laying there and talking to God and asking Him for this to please be it! I talked to Rachel too and asked her to put in a good word for us with The Big Man and remind him we would be good parents! The next morning Matt and I went in together for the 2nd IUI. We were like excited kids, there was finally a possibility!! I read Hannah's prayer in the Bible and prayed that it was our turn to be blessed.

Well you know what happened....It was indeed time. Two weeks later we found out I was finally expecting our little miracle. Even Dr. Gill remarked on how random this quick chain of events was and that God definitely had been watching over us. We couldn't agree more.

So here we are, one year later from the beginning of it all. What a difference a year makes! We are so blessed and so in love with our little miracle. Zach amazes me every day and I couldn't be more in love than I am with him! Thanks to all who have shared in our journey so far...I can't wait to see what else we have in store!! :)

Sorry for the novel post, just wanted to get it all down. Exciting to see where things have gone from where they had been!

PS-I put together the exersaucer. Woohoo! Although I could see my future...I will be putting the toys together for all birthdays and Christmases to come!

RoseMary's Grand-daughter

That song always reminds me of Rachel and Al. It was one of their favs which turned into one of my favs. Rach was always ahead of the curve on songs. The only songs I ever knew that were cool before Rachel did were Chumbawumba's Tubthumping and Semisonic's Closing Time (this was the main one I found before Rachel did and we both LOVED it). Anyway, tonight I was planning to go to Allison's to hang out while Matt was at a friend's birthday party. Just as I had finished feeding Zach and starting to pack his bag, he started freaking out....for no reason. Fed? Check! Burped? Check! Diaper Change? Check. I tried to soothe him for about 20 minutes and he calmed some but figured I would give the car a try and see if that wouldn't do the trick. Texted Al to say I was on my way and if Zach hadn't calmed by the time I was there I would just turn around. Justin was having some of his fellas over for poker and unlike our crew, they only have one baby in their group so far so I didn't want to be a buzz kill with a screaming child.

So back to the story...Zach is still screaming in the car halfway to Al's and then all of a sudden "Rosemary's grand-daughter" came on. I looked in the rear view mirror and he just stopped crying all of a sudden?! I hadn't heard this song in ages and had just added this new XM station that it came on to my Favs today. When it came on and I was singing,
"I am rosemary's granddaughter
The spinning image of my father
And when the day is done my mamma's still my BIGGEST FAN
sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
but i got friends that love me
and they know just where I stand
it's all a part of me that's who I am!"
ZMan just stopped crying! I sent a text telling Al and she replied, "Thanks Rach!" I concur, that's exactly what I was thinking. I know my friend was back there comforting my little man .

I'll post more on this tomorrow....too much for one post. Tomorrow is 1 year from my IUI, also known as Zach's conception. On that day I also felt the presence of my friend, Rach. I truly believe she is a guardian angel to me and Zachary and all my "sisters". I wish she was here every day. I often talk to her and ask her to visit me...and today she did. I reflected on Rachel a lot on Mother's Day too...and although you were never given the chance to be a mommy here on this Earth, Rach, I know you are watching over some very special babies in Heaven and also ours here with us. I miss you friend, thanks for the visit today. I love you and miss you always!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Today my mom is celebrating her 60th Birthday!! Dad has taken her off for a romantic weekend visit in Galveston. Aren't they cute? :)

My parents are such an awesome example of a happy marriage and great parents and I can only hope that Matt and I can be the same. They are both so loving being grandparents too and I know Z is going to be blessed in life because of them. So here's to my mom....thanks for being the best mom and friend! You have given me so much and I can only hope to be as good as a mom to Zachary as you have been to me! I love you and hope you and dad have a wonderful birthday weekend!

Mother's Day 2008
Popsie, Grandma, and Z on Easter

Four GenerationsZach is here!

Waiting to meet their first grandchild!

Friday

Today has been a busy day and I'm tired. Z man woke up at 4am again but I went in there and popped the paci in (he had eaten at like 1130pm, should not be hungry) and curled up in the recliner thinking he would be up for real shortly....but he surprised me and actually went back to sleep till about 545! Then we were up again at 7am to make sure we didn't miss The New Kids on the Block on the Today Show! The were not very good but seeing them sing the old songs and all these women going crazy, it was worth staying up. But what was up with the terrible back up dancers? And I don't think Jonathan Knight really wanted to be there. The rest of them look like they were enjoying reliving their glory days!

I also got a nice puke on me too...we were snuggling and he spit up....ALL DOWN the inside of my shirt, right down the middle of the chest. Nice. And in the hair too. I have crusty tips as Ginny would say. Definitely would need to shower before I left the house.

During one of Z's naps I went through his drawers...time to pack away the newborn clothes! Delusionally, I tried to make some of them fit in my head, but there was no way they would fit in real life. I was sad to put them up but they were taking up space and definitely not being used. My little guy isn't a baby anymore. And on that note, he has been talking up a storm today. I love our little "conversations"!

After putting away the baby clothes, I decided I would put together his exersaucer, figured I could do that in a few minutes. Boy was I wrong. There are like a zallion pieces, and I am not exaggerating. If I hadn't left my camera at Jenny's, I would take a picture. There is stuff all over the floor because I got stuck on like step 2. Goodness. Should it really be this hard? I would pay someone to do it!

So, that's been our day so far. Actually a good one, Z and I have had fun. OH...I also took off my bumpers in the crib. I have caught Z with his face smushed up in the corners and it scared me. But today while he was napping and I was sorting clothes, his leg was hanging out between the slats. So should i put the bumpers back up??? Any suggestions???

Anyway, I am pretty much on my own with Z this weekend, Matt has other plans. I will enjoy our time together...and hopefully get this damn exersaucer put together by Sunday!

Daycare visit

It was fine. His main teacher is Miss Juanita, she has been there for 5 years and seems very nice and sweet. The other one is Miss Dorothy. She is a retired teacher, very grandmotherly. There is only one other little one Z's age in his class so hopefully that means he will get lots of love and care since the older ones can do a lot more on their own. I was there for feeding, and diapering, and putting down for naps and it was all going quite smoothly. The kiddos had just come in from a buggy ride when I got there and all seemed very happy! But I got in the car and cried when we left. It's not that I am worried about the care that Zach will receive there, cause I think it will be good....its just that it wont be me doing the caring all the time. And that makes me sad. I am honestly surprised by my reaction. I really thought I would be okay. And perhaps I will, just takes some adjusting. Next week I will leave Z for a little each day and by Thursday will have him there for almost a full day. That way, come the 27th, it wont be complete meltdown for me. So there you have it. I cannot believe 3 months have come and gone and that its time for me to go back to work already. I just hope I can still do it!

Yaaaaawwwwnnnnnn!!!!!!

Well that was not a fun night! We are still working on the whole bed time routine thing and trying to figure out while the past four or five nights Z has decided to wake up between 4 and 430?!? Last night, after talking with the Ginster who's pedi told them NOT to wake up baby for a feeding cause it interrupts their REM sleep, we decided to try that theory out. I figured, OK, so we will split the difference and maybe wake up at 2am and then not again till 7 or so. It started off that way. I woke up at 130 to some whimpering. In hindsight, maybe I should have waited to see if he really woke up, but I had already made the bottle. So he ate and never really woke up and i was back in bed around 2ish. Not too bad, I thought! I was looking forward to my next 5 hours of sleep! But Z had other plans....and I was woken up at 430 to crying...which turned to SCREAMING! Apparently my bottle making skills were NOT fast enough to satisfy the beast! The weirdest part of the whole thing is usually Zach isn't even a screamer for these early feeds. But this was LOUD! Enough so that Matt actually woke up and I don't think that's happened since week 1! (I sent him back to bed of course since 2 people cant feed a crying baby!) So he ate and immediately went right back to sleep.......if only I could. I think I was up for another 30 minutes wondering how I would function at work after a night like this??

So here we are. He was up at 730 and we are eating again at 830. I feel like I have a newborn again as far as sleeping goes! We are going to visit daycare this morning so we might as well stay up and get moving....figured it would be nice to be showered and clean at least, even if I am half asleep, wish us luck!!

Bedtime routine!

Well, we are trying another first tonight...the bedtime routine! I know, I know, probably should have done it long ago. But hey, my kid was sleeping through the night basically at 6 weeks so I had no need to complain. He was always sleeping, but it was just either downstairs on the couch with us or in his swing. The last 4 mornings though, he has been waking up at like 4am though and that's not cool. As I said before, there is just something inhumane about waking up at 4am! So on the advice from a friend and also from some reading, I read that his early wake-ups could be actually from not getting enough sleep!?! I know, weird, doesn't totally make sense to me, but hey, I am willing to try whatever.

Tonight we had our bottle at 6:30pm, then played for awhile and then at 8 we went upstairs for bath time. Had a nice bed, then into the nursery with the dimmed lights to read a couple of books. He started fussing so I was thinking,"Great, this is not going to work" I was up walking with him and he quieted down and hollered at Matt to please bring me a binkie. Since he was quiet, decided to just lay him down and turn on the mobile. He stared at the mobile but was quiet so we backed out.......I figured I would hear crying when the mobile ended. 15 minutes later, still nothing. I went upstairs to check, and he was out cold! My big boy is growing up! We will get him up for one last bottle and see what happens from there! :-) So proud of my Zachary!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Hello my friends! I know it's a day late, but oh well. We were busy! We woke up for church and then came back to our place for brunch. It was delicious! Mom and I enjoyed a couple of mimosas as well, Yum Yum! I got a card from Matt and a card from Zach and Max and Esther. They also got me the Joy of my Heart pendant and the Motherhood Charm for my bracelet. So sweet!

The rest of the afternoon was spent snugglin and restin....and topped off by mom and I going to see The Wedding Singer. It was not good. The actors and costumes and the dancing were okay, but it was the lyrics and script. Oh my, not good. One songs chorus was called "Get out of the dumpster" if that gives any indicators. Another awful one was called "Single" or something like that. And I like cheesy/funny musicals like Hairspray and MamaMia but this was not even close. It was so bad that I had to put in the Jersey Boys cd on the way home so I could end the night on a positive note! :) But besides that, the Mothers Day weekend was great....and Z turned 3 months old too!

And Saturday, Zach got in the pool for the first time! It was a little cool so we weren't in there long but I think he will like it when it warms up even more. He never screamed or fussed, just looked kinda serious at times. It must have wiped him out though, cause as soon as we got out, he totally konked out cold! I look forward to trying again soon!

So here are a few pics from the weekend. Enjoy!

Fun in the pool!

Mother's Day Pictures!

3 months old!

Well that wasn't so bad!

Babyboo slept in his crib last night, woohoo! Grandma put him down around 10pm and we left him in there for the first time. I think I checked on him about 20 times before I finally went to bed but of course he was just fine. He did decide to wake up at about 4am and since he wasn't right next to me, I couldn't get the paci in on time so by the time I got to him he was awake and ready to eat. So a quick bottle and back to bed for both of us! He slept until 8:30 which was a good time for everyone to wake up :) Not sure what the deal is with waking up early this week...for WEEKS he has been sleeping until 530-630 every day but this week its been more like 4-5am! And to me, that's still the middle of the night, not early morning! :-)

Anyway, I am proud of myself for moving Zach out...I guess I will let him do that more often even though I will miss having him right next to me. He is growing up!

Big Night....

So tonight Matt and I decided we needed a night on our own...part of the Mother's Day weekend! My mom was thankfully more than willing to come babysit. She is so great about that, thank you Mom! I know her and Z are going to have a really special bond because they get to see each other so often. So anyway, we went to Ruth Chris steakhouse and it was delicious! Its one of Matt and I's things to try out the different steak houses in Houston and there are some good ones. The last one was Pappa's the week before Zach was born! :) Anyway, I give RC an A! The steak was wonderful as was the service and ambiance. The sides and salads were good but nothing extra special. Anyway, overall it was really good.

Back to Zach. After talking to Ginny on Thursday, she inspired me to try Z out in the crib at night. Paige, his gal pal who only likes to sleep when being held slept in her crib this week, and she is 6weeks younger! SO........I asked mom to put Z down in his crib tonight after the last bottle. I did have to laugh, when I went in to check on him when we got home, he had on different jammies! Mom decided he was too hot in his usual jammies so she put him in an Astros romper....I don't buy it, she just wanted him to be in his 'stros outfit! But he is still sleeping soundly so we shall see how it goes! :)

Today we went to visit Katie and Becky. Zach cried both ways in the car but was quite the ham while he was there. He was flirting with Becky and Katie! He took a cat nap on Katie's gymini gym and we got some cute pics of them together too. Not easy to get a 3 and 9 month old to cooperate at the same time! I think they had fun but Becky and I probably had more fun just catching up. Thanks for the visit, Becky!They were actually smiling in this one at the same time but we couldnt quite capture it on time!
I think me and Becky were having more fun than the kids were, they had us cracking up!

Auntie Becky loaned us her Bumbo, we used it again at home and he likes it! Thanks B!

Too much to drink...

I just thought this was funny....we got this onesie when we were in Boston in Sept 2007. The back says, "I don't even know my name..." Hee hee!

New Friends

Today we went over to Roxanne's house to visit Julia and Alex and meet their new cousin Zachary! Julia even got to be in a Zachary sandwich! ;-) It was nice to visit with Rox and Amy and get to see both their precious new babies. Zachary is a doll and of course has a great name. He was so alert and checking everything out. Julia is a mellow chick and was just chilling the whole time I was there. She is growing like a weed too. She is almost as long as my Zach! Rox put her on the scale (granted she had clothes on) and she is already over 10lbs. She will be a month old on Monday. Go Julia!

It was great visiting and I appreciate Roxanne for letting me visit for probably longer than she had planned! I guess I miss adult conversation more than I thought! ;-)

A Zachary Sandwich with Julia in the middle! Zach (April 26), Julia (April 12), Zach (Feb 11)

Check out how long Julia is! Z man kept giving her the elbow!

Cousin Zach thought Julia's arm was tasty! And Zach is still pushing Julia. Don't they say boys pick on the girls they like? ;-)For the first time, my Zach wasn't the baby of the crew! I think he was excited to be older than someone finally! :)Julia wanted some nap time so Z had to move over! Aren't they all cute!

Bath time and the Hippo chair!

I guess blogger decided it didnt want me to add more pics to the last post, oops! So here are a couple shots from bath time in Abilene and hippo chair pics from yesterday! He will be sitting in the chair before we know it!

Long time, no post!

Wow, a whole week has passed since I last posted! I guess we have been busy!

We headed out on Thursday for our Tour de West Texas and returned home last night. We clocked in 1100 miles. OH MY! Trip was long but great and Zach enjoyed meeting some of his other family members. He has now met TWO of his great-grandmas...one more to go! And he also met his Aunt Julie and her family in Lubbock! And of course his grammy-gram was thrilled to see him again too. It was a really nice time and we loved spending time with our family! Only one minor meltdown but considering all the time in the car seat, meeting new people, and being in lots of different places...I think that is pretty good!

Zachary also turned 12 weeks yesterday. I cannot believe where the time has gone! If I had not taken the extra 3 weeks of vacation, I would have been heading back to work tomorrow :( Trying not to think about it and just going to enjoy these last few weeks. He is still such a great baby. Learning new tricks like batting at things, holding and grabbing at things, clasping his hands together, sitting up with assistance, and looking extremely cute still! He will turn 3 months on Sunday...Mother's Day!

And now for a few pics...enjoy!
The Wittliffs and Zach

The ladies love the Z man!The Taylors and Zach!

Aunt Julie LOVES her Z Man, she always sends him cute stuff too!

Me and the boys...Zach and Levi

Nonna and Zachary, he was smiling for her lots!

Four Generations!

Zach in Nonna's rocking chair....90 years old! He wasn't too into it!

Grammy-gram LOVES Zach. We can't wait to see her again in June!