I remembered writing a post to Zachary around this time....went back and found it filed under 2008 and definitely got a little teary re-reading it. Second time pregnancy is just so different than the first, for me at least. I am more relaxed. More mentally prepared and not so nervous about if I will be able to keep this child alive or not because I know now I can do it. I am somehow more comfortable and definitely sleeping more than I did with Z. I am less physically prepared...its 5 weeks away and the room isn't painted, the crib is apart while Z adjusts to his new bed, the only furniture in Mark's room is a chest of drawers since Zach's new one arrived, and most of the "gear" needs to be pulled out from the garage still!
My nervousness comes this time more on how I will be. Will I be able to handle two little boys under 2? Will I be able to give Mark all the love and attention he needs while also continuing to shower it on Zachary? Will Zachary continue to learn and develop or will baby brother cause him to regress some? Will I have a life of my own at all over this next year? And my excitement is different too...will Mark maybe look like a Hill this time and not the spitting image of his daddy? ;-) I cannot wait to see what he looks like! Will he have the personality of his older brother or one entirely of his own? And more than anything...I cannot wait to see the brotherly love that grows between these 2 boys!
I want to do my part to make sure that Mark and Zach are two entirely different and special boys and that each one knows how precious they are to me!!
Dear Mark Wendell,
Your name means "warlike" and your middle name is the name of my daddy, your popsie! Next to your own daddy, he is the best guy I have ever known so you must be pretty special to carry on his name. I pray that you guys will be the best of buds and he can teach you all kinds of things, especially about being a great man, husband, and father!
I know you are a fighter and strong already because you came into our lives much to our surprise! Since it took us a long time to create your brother, we figured you would be the same way but you and He had other plans! I will never ever forget seeing that those 2 pink lines and literally falling to my knees to give thanks and praise! Although it was sudden, you were loved from the moment we knew your growing!!
You have treated me well these past few months and I have truly loved that. You have quite a regular schedule and I have grown accustomed to it. Your hiccups are something I never experienced with Zach and they make me laugh each time I feel their rhythmic pattern. I love the secret connection that only you and I have, and I pray that you will trust me as you grow up and always be able to come to me with anything at all. I foresee us being connected for awhile after you arrive because I bet you will be wrapped up against me while we chase after your brother! :) I look forward to continuing our special bond!
I cannot wait to see your sweet face and to kiss your tiny toes and to have a baby in the house again! There is something just truly special about a teeny tiny life and all that comes with it.
I promise to do all I can to cultivate a special relationship between you and your brother. I pray that you two will grow to be the best of friends and truly LOVE each other, not just cause you are supposed to but because you want to!
I look forward to see what kind of little boy you will become. Whatever it may be, I will love you for who you are and do my best to not compare you to your older brother because you are your own special and unique person.
I pray that you come to know the Lord and love Him with all your heart just like your dad and I do. We talk of you and pray for your safe arrival every night in our prayers with Zachary before bedtime and on our own too and will do the same with you once you are here!
We are so excited to meet you, Mark! The time has passed so very quickly and I pray that I will be a good mommy to you and your brother and our soon to be family of FOUR!
I love you with all my heart and can't wait to welcome you into this world!
Forever and always,
Mommy
You're doing great! You'll be able to do everything you imagine and you'll continue to be a fabulous mom. Mark and Zack are so very blessed.
ReplyDeleteAHHHHH... So sweet. You will do fine and the boys are going to be best friends.
ReplyDeleteSo sweet! My heart is melting. All that you said in your note is exactly how I feel about my two boys. :)
ReplyDeleteIt is going to be crazy at first. And it's not easy. But you can do it! Remember that it all goes so fast--they change by the day--so just soak it all in and try to enjoy every moment!
I think all that is very normal with a second child! You will do great with two little ones, they will have such fun growing up together. :)
ReplyDeleteYour letters are always so wonderful, thanks for sharing!
Love the letter!! Having two boys is so special, you will love it!! :)
ReplyDelete