Just some photos from the last few weeks...enjoy!
I'm a little elephant...short and stout!! Thanks Aunt Becky for this cool towel, its one of our favs!
I am ready to do some deals!! Check me out!
I found out we were pregnant! I was just looking at something and noticed today was the date, 5/29!! How exciting! Finally seeing those 2 pink lines was so exciting!! And with knowing that Sue, Theresa, and Kari are all preggo again, it brings back all the memories of that initial joy, excitement, shock, and anticipation! So excited for all of them. Answered prayers for sure!! Speaking of babies...wow, do I know a lot of pregnant people right now! Let's see...between now and January due are Miranda, Ashley, Charla (with twins), Ashley, Kristen D, another friend, Susan, Katie's SIL (ok, i dont know her personally but I know of her), Theresa, and Kari. And I think I may be missing someone too! And I know Allison G is due sometime soon too, right?? I tell ya...I would be ready to do it again now but don't think Daddy-o is quite ready. Who knows, maybe we will get lucky this fall!
Ok so work...I am surviving. I have cried every day leaving. But it gets easier too. Thankfully everyone at work was happy and excited to see me and I snapped right back into the mix of things. It was weird, like the first day of school. But overall, it hasn't been too bad. Z's daycare gives him little progress reports every day so those are neat to read. And man, you cannot BEAT the smiles and coos that you get at pick up time. Its funny, cause he doesn't notice you at first...and then BAM! SMILES for MILES! Love it! I have decided I think I am going to have Matt start dropping off. I don't think I should have to do both and dropping is too hard for me. Plus picking up I am closer and can get there faster!
I think thats about it for now. I will post some pics soon...its been too long! TGIF!!!!!!!!!
That's right folks, tomorrow is the big return to work. Not much to say that I haven't already said! Nervous, anxious, sad, worried, etc.... But I am glad we did the visit last week to day care so hopefully it wont be as bad. I am thankful Kerri will be at work too so I have someone to be there for more. And its a 4 day week so that helps too.
We had a good weekend at the Beach too. It was great to be around friends and relax although I missed Zach. It was harder than I thought. I think a lot of it had to do with me going back to work tomorrow and not as much as being away from Z. Bad timing. But all in all, it was fine. My folks had a great time with Z (although tired at the end with the early morning wake-ups). Zach was glad to see me (or I tell myself). We had lots of snuggling and napping and cuddling over the rest of the weekend.
Yesterday Ginny and Paige came over. It was SO good to see them both. I miss Ginny and wish they lived here in Houston so we could see them more. I hope they make it down here some time. Paige is a sweet pea too. She and Zach took some pics which I will get posted eventually. They will be great if one day they end up getting married! ;-)
Anyway, not much else going on now. Will try to get to bed early so I can be human tomorrow. I will let you know how it goes!
That's the only way I can describe it. Being separated from Z just feels weird. I miss him. Today was the first time I have been ALONE in my house in almost 4 months! I have been away from Z before...but always with someone else...like at book club, PEO, with Matt, with mom, etc. So this week is the first time to be on my own. I feel a little...lost?!?! I know it sounds silly, but it is what it is. What if I enjoy being at work? What if I cant do my job as good as before? What if I miss him too much...or not enough? Will I still be a good mommy even though I am not with him all the time?????
Yes, these are the things I thought about today on the massage table. The massage was really nice, but man, my brain was racing!!!!!! About work, about Z, about Matt & me, about my 3 month postpartum body, about another baby....and a slew of other things that I thought would be good to be blog about but now I cant remember squat!
we are headed to the beach tomorrow....dropping the z man off with grandma and popsie. they cannot WAIT!!!!!! Mom has hit the local 2nd hand store and has cleaned up. she bought a stroller, play mat, and swing and who knows what else?? z and i stayed the night there Sunday night so he would have a night in his crib there too. I think he will be alright! Hopefully I will be too!!!!!!!
I know, I have been lax on the blogging. Being as this is my last week with Z man before headed back to work, I have just been busy! Monday was spent all day shopping with mom and Z. We hit the new outlet mall and man did Z make out good. He got some CUTE stuff!
Tuesday was drop Z off for a half day at daycare...lunch, grocery shopping, shopping.
And today was Zach's full day at day care to which I cashed in gift certificates for a mani & pedi and then a hair cut, followed by bathing suit shopping to keep me BUSY! It wasn't terrible, but wasn't great either as I have not yet motivated to get the diet properly going unlike my hubs who has lost 20+ lbs (Go Hubs!) If you want to read a funny post, go visit Ginny and read about her most recent post-baby bathing suit shopping experience. Anyway, I heard the phantom crying sometimes still today and missed my little buddy being around. His teachers said he did great and he was happy and smiley again so that makes mommy happy.
Tomorrow morning I am get a massage (cashing in another g.c.) while Z is at his last faux day before the real schedule starts. He is only doing a half day. Then I am picking him up and we are going to meet Daddy for lunch. And sometime during this day I need to be packing for the weekend. Oh yeah, and Esther has had diarrhea for the last several days....so taking a visit to the vet at 4pm too. I hope my baby girl is okay! Um yeah, I am busy!
So besides the fact of being sad about missing my baby boy and all that goes along that...I am worried I wont be as good at my job any more! Like I still feel dumb sometimes. Wasn't pregnancy supposed to be gone?? How long does mom-nesia last?? I can't think fast enough, of the right word, remember what I did five minutes before, etc etc etc. I took a lot of pride in my job, relationships with customers and my traders before and I worry it wont be the same any more. I feel like I am starting a first day at school or something.
Anyway, there are a lot more things running through this muddled brain of mine but I will leave it at that for now.
Night night!
Today was Zach's first time at daycare by himself. I knew we needed to get this done sometime before I went back to work as to not appear like a crazy crying woman next Tuesday at the office. My plan was to get Z there and go grocery shopping afterwards. My friend Kerri must have been psychic today as she knew I needed someone to go to lunch with today. So after dropping Z off with his many bags of stuff (he over packs just like his mommy), I headed to meet Kerri. Of course I cried when I left Zach but thankfully he was smiling so that made it a little easier. Anyway, Kerri and I had Pei Wei and she listened to my ramblings. Then I got the grocery shopping done and was headed to get my nails done only to find out they were way too busy. So I opted for a little shopping instead. And then it was 3pm and I decided that 4 hours away was long enough!
When I got in to pick him up, he was chilling in the boppy having just finished his bottle....and gave me the BIGGEST grin ever when he saw me!! He took his afternoon nap there as well and went on his first buggy ride! The ladies said he was great and the only time he even fussed was when he was hungry. I laughed, cause that's just what he does. He lets you know when he is HUNGRY and ready to eat! :) So all in all, sounds like he did good. We came home and had snuggle and play time before it was time for his last cat nap for the day.
Tomorrow I will drop him for closer to the whole day while I get my hair done, etc. I wanted to experience a whole day away before it happened at the office. Wish me luck.
Anyway, we survived and I pray it gets easier as time goes by! Now off to cuddle my sleeping boy!
A year ago today we had our first IUI, the second one was tomorrow. One of which created Zachary! The story began with us using a different RE, we will call him DrMcYucky. We had been with him for about six months and for various different delays, only did two injectible cycles with him, both of which were cancelled before we even got to the IUI point. The first cycle was cancelled due to me not responding well enough to the meds, and the second one for my testo being too high. Both extremely disappointing and frustrating as we had paid all the money out of pocket for blood work, ultrasounds and medicine without getting to the point where we could do an IUI and have hopes of making a baby! So after the second failed cycle, we decided to go for a 2nd opinion and never called DrMcYucky's office back again.
We went to see Dr Gill who validated that he didn't like our first offices procedures and reasoning for cancelling either. He also felt he could get us pregnant, just not sure how long it may take. The plan was for us to call him when I started my next cycle and we would go from there. We waited and waited and when nothing still had happened. I put off calling for a few days and then finally after some prodding from some friends, I called. He wanted me to come back in and take a look to see what was going on. It was my mom's birthday and for some reason too I had the day off. I went to the appointment, actually even discussed moving to IVF over the summer after my brother's wedding. We did an ultrasound and saw what looked like a mature follicle, something I hadn't seen before. Did some blood work and they said they would be in touch with a plan. I remember calling my mom crying to tell her about the appointment and the possibility of invitro. Then I headed out to surprise her for lunch. While we were at lunch, I got a phone call from the nurse telling me that indeed, it was a mature egg and we had two choices: 1) come in tomorrow for an IUI or 2) give it a try on our own. I called Becky before I called Matt to ask her what she would do? Its not cheap but since we had never gotten to this point before, and now here we were, and the option was finally there...should we go for it? She agreed that this was just too coincidental, and to go for it. She said she had a good feeling. I called Matt and he agreed. The next day, it was a Friday, I went in for my first IUI. Matt couldn't be there for the procedure since we were both working and I remember laying there and talking to God and asking Him for this to please be it! I talked to Rachel too and asked her to put in a good word for us with The Big Man and remind him we would be good parents! The next morning Matt and I went in together for the 2nd IUI. We were like excited kids, there was finally a possibility!! I read Hannah's prayer in the Bible and prayed that it was our turn to be blessed.
Well you know what happened....It was indeed time. Two weeks later we found out I was finally expecting our little miracle. Even Dr. Gill remarked on how random this quick chain of events was and that God definitely had been watching over us. We couldn't agree more.
So here we are, one year later from the beginning of it all. What a difference a year makes! We are so blessed and so in love with our little miracle. Zach amazes me every day and I couldn't be more in love than I am with him! Thanks to all who have shared in our journey so far...I can't wait to see what else we have in store!! :)
Sorry for the novel post, just wanted to get it all down. Exciting to see where things have gone from where they had been!
PS-I put together the exersaucer. Woohoo! Although I could see my future...I will be putting the toys together for all birthdays and Christmases to come!
That song always reminds me of Rachel and Al. It was one of their favs which turned into one of my favs. Rach was always ahead of the curve on songs. The only songs I ever knew that were cool before Rachel did were Chumbawumba's Tubthumping and Semisonic's Closing Time (this was the main one I found before Rachel did and we both LOVED it). Anyway, tonight I was planning to go to Allison's to hang out while Matt was at a friend's birthday party. Just as I had finished feeding Zach and starting to pack his bag, he started freaking out....for no reason. Fed? Check! Burped? Check! Diaper Change? Check. I tried to soothe him for about 20 minutes and he calmed some but figured I would give the car a try and see if that wouldn't do the trick. Texted Al to say I was on my way and if Zach hadn't calmed by the time I was there I would just turn around. Justin was having some of his fellas over for poker and unlike our crew, they only have one baby in their group so far so I didn't want to be a buzz kill with a screaming child.
So back to the story...Zach is still screaming in the car halfway to Al's and then all of a sudden "Rosemary's grand-daughter" came on. I looked in the rear view mirror and he just stopped crying all of a sudden?! I hadn't heard this song in ages and had just added this new XM station that it came on to my Favs today. When it came on and I was singing,
"I am rosemary's granddaughter
The spinning image of my father
And when the day is done my mamma's still my BIGGEST FAN
sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy
but i got friends that love me
and they know just where I stand
it's all a part of me that's who I am!"
ZMan just stopped crying! I sent a text telling Al and she replied, "Thanks Rach!" I concur, that's exactly what I was thinking. I know my friend was back there comforting my little man .
I'll post more on this tomorrow....too much for one post. Tomorrow is 1 year from my IUI, also known as Zach's conception. On that day I also felt the presence of my friend, Rach. I truly believe she is a guardian angel to me and Zachary and all my "sisters". I wish she was here every day. I often talk to her and ask her to visit me...and today she did. I reflected on Rachel a lot on Mother's Day too...and although you were never given the chance to be a mommy here on this Earth, Rach, I know you are watching over some very special babies in Heaven and also ours here with us. I miss you friend, thanks for the visit today. I love you and miss you always!
Today my mom is celebrating her 60th Birthday!! Dad has taken her off for a romantic weekend visit in Galveston. Aren't they cute? :)
My parents are such an awesome example of a happy marriage and great parents and I can only hope that Matt and I can be the same. They are both so loving being grandparents too and I know Z is going to be blessed in life because of them. So here's to my mom....thanks for being the best mom and friend! You have given me so much and I can only hope to be as good as a mom to Zachary as you have been to me! I love you and hope you and dad have a wonderful birthday weekend!
Mother's Day 2008
Popsie, Grandma, and Z on Easter
Four Generations
Zach is here!
Waiting to meet their first grandchild!
Today has been a busy day and I'm tired. Z man woke up at 4am again but I went in there and popped the paci in (he had eaten at like 1130pm, should not be hungry) and curled up in the recliner thinking he would be up for real shortly....but he surprised me and actually went back to sleep till about 545! Then we were up again at 7am to make sure we didn't miss The New Kids on the Block on the Today Show! The were not very good but seeing them sing the old songs and all these women going crazy, it was worth staying up. But what was up with the terrible back up dancers? And I don't think Jonathan Knight really wanted to be there. The rest of them look like they were enjoying reliving their glory days!
I also got a nice puke on me too...we were snuggling and he spit up....ALL DOWN the inside of my shirt, right down the middle of the chest. Nice. And in the hair too. I have crusty tips as Ginny would say. Definitely would need to shower before I left the house.
During one of Z's naps I went through his drawers...time to pack away the newborn clothes! Delusionally, I tried to make some of them fit in my head, but there was no way they would fit in real life. I was sad to put them up but they were taking up space and definitely not being used. My little guy isn't a baby anymore. And on that note, he has been talking up a storm today. I love our little "conversations"!
After putting away the baby clothes, I decided I would put together his exersaucer, figured I could do that in a few minutes. Boy was I wrong. There are like a zallion pieces, and I am not exaggerating. If I hadn't left my camera at Jenny's, I would take a picture. There is stuff all over the floor because I got stuck on like step 2. Goodness. Should it really be this hard? I would pay someone to do it!
So, that's been our day so far. Actually a good one, Z and I have had fun. OH...I also took off my bumpers in the crib. I have caught Z with his face smushed up in the corners and it scared me. But today while he was napping and I was sorting clothes, his leg was hanging out between the slats. So should i put the bumpers back up??? Any suggestions???
Anyway, I am pretty much on my own with Z this weekend, Matt has other plans. I will enjoy our time together...and hopefully get this damn exersaucer put together by Sunday!
