2 weeks old!

Ok, so it was yesterday and I took pics but forgot to post! Little Z man is doing good and I cannot believe he is 2 weeks old already! Here are his weekly hippo chair pics and a couple others just because!

Thanks Grandma and Popsie!

Thanks to my folks...Matt and I were able to go out to dinner on our own for a break! It was our first post-baby "date". We went to Fajita Flats for well...fajitas! And I had my first beer in 9 months! I had a Dos X lager...delish! How I have missed beer! We followed up dinner with frozen yogurt at the Voss Road Creamery, which happens to be the local teenage girl hang out we discovered. Matt and I were definitely the only people over 29 in there! We drove up to a convertible of girls jammin out to one of the Jock Jams songs from like 1993 that we had a drill team tryout dance to. I was tempted to tell them they were cruisin to a song from my high school years! We got a good chuckle! But through it all, I must say I missed my son!! I called after dinner to check in before we went for our ice cream and of course the Z man was fine. Anyway, it was only a couple hours out but it was nice and good to spend some QT with my hubs. It had definitely been a long time! So thanks Gram and Gramps!! :)

The Witching Hour....

Such a strange phenomenon...I had never even heard of such a thing until today! I had mentioned how Zach was fussy around the time Matt gets home from work and my two TWW friends both mentioned the "witching hour". What is this I wondered so of course I did what all kids our age do...I googled it! Apparently almost ALL babies are fussy during this hour! Matt even googled it too after he read one of the comments and then quizzed old pro parents at his office...they all agreed the witching hour exists too! So tonight we tried to combat it!! We tried the first example first...feeding! I think Zach did what they call "Cluster feeding", nursed on and off for like a couple hours straight. Calmed down enough to sleep and then woke up JUST in time for the pizza man to arrive (who by the way congratulated us on our big boy thanks to the stork!! :) ) Then we had some swing time...and now he is having some Zach and daddy time swaying in the living room. Good times!!

Anyway, had a nice day today. My friend Kerri came and brought me some lunch. It was nice to have some adult time! I miss her! And tonight I went outside of the house to walk Esther-lou. My baby girl has been a bit melancholy. Kerri was sweet too...she brought Esther presents instead cause she knew she has been having a tough time.

Then tomorrow, Ashley is coming by with the baby scale for me, Jen &Rox are coming for lunch, and the Estes for dinner. Wow, we have a busy day! Mom and Dad will come by Saturday to relieve Matt and I momentarily. We may go get dinner together! WOOHOO!

And per request, we now have a link to the smugmug site on the right for your easy viewing access! We will say goodnight with a couple pics! ENJOY!

HOLY CRAP-spell check is FINALLY working again! WOOHOO!

still tryin.....

man, this is confusing! so today i pretty much nursed all day. i think he got 2 bottles but those were what small amounts i pumped of breast milk. im not seeing a dramatic increase but i guess its just day 2 of the reglan(prescription)? i did manage to try to express someand squirt the kid so hey, thats a good sign, right?? seeing my pump outtake though, i just dont trust only bfing. ugh. its a hard call. i desire to bf 1)b/c its good for them and 2) cause i get tired of pumping and washing. lol. but i also want a healthy baby! im very glad im feeling hormonally balanced otherwise though b/c i think this issue could put you over the edge. there is a lot of self-inflicted guilt about it, but im sticking to my mom's reminder that i am a formula baby and turned out pretty good. hey, i helped create this little guy and he is perfect so thats something.

on another note, i miss my belly.........i know, i know....CRAZY. esp after my complaints over the last 4 weeks in regards to sleeping but that was the only time! during the day i felt great! i wonder how soon ill be ready to do this all again! ;-)

on a zach note, he is fabulous. such a good baby. not that i have anything to compare to but i think he is good. only issue is the last 2 nights, he decided that 7-9pm is a good time to be fussy. not good!! thats mommys time with daddy! hoping its just coincidence and not a pattern. also, he has a little conjunctivitis in his left eye. what to do besides wipe with warm water?

and lastly, on a funny note to close on...i laugh every time my child toots or poops. it makes me giggle. guess thats how you know you are a mom!!

ok, thats all for now. ill try to post something not bf related soon. pics on smugmug if you need your zach fix!!

night!!

We survived!

Today was our first day home alone and we made it. Pretty uneventful which is good! Of course when Matt got home, Zach decided to be all fussy and such! ARGH. Got him quiet now after another bottle and a diapie change, he is chillin in the bouncer.

Still trying to work this whole bf thing out. Today he would nurse for about 30 minutes and then be done but still eat an ounce or two from a bottle afterwards? I guess I will feel more confident in not following up with the bottle once I know my supply is better and that he is actually eating! I just dont want to starve the kid! Like tonight, he was SO fussy, and I think it was because he hadnt had enough to eat today. ANYWAY, still working on it. It will work out one way or another. I have a headache. I think its combo or lack of sleep and caffeine?

Ok, not a lot to say, going to pump, maybe take a cat nap while AI soothes me........

UPDATE

well........jut for curiousity sake...i put little man to the breast tonight before his bottle...he did 5 minutes on one but atleast 30 minutes on the other! so, at least he can do it! i guess ill keep trying that too. but how do you know how much he actually took in? i followed up with bottle just in case...but is this progress???????

Happy 1 week Zach!!!

Oh my goodness...my son is a WEEK old today! Wow, already I cannot imagine my life without him? Last week at this time we were hanging out in the room with a couple of the girls still. My baby has grown so much already! I swear, I could just stare at him all day. He is so precious to me. I love him with all my heart and peices of it I never knew existed. And I love how Matt loves him too. I will hear Matt from upstairs singing to Zach or just talking to him, its the most attractive thing ever! He is such a great father already and I just know he will have a great relationship with his son because he had that with his father and its really important to him. I look forward to watching it grow through the years!

Anyway, things are going really well. Still working on the whole BF thing. Pumping 8-10 times a day but still only getting about 2-4oz total today...not enough to sustain a growing boy! So, Zach gets a couple of good breast milk feedings a day from these bottles we got called 'BreastFlow'. They most resemble the breast so that if and when we get my supply up, Zach wont be used to the quick flow that traditional bottles offer. They are slow and he has to work for it! I'm drinking my tea too and had a call into my OB for the reglan prescription. My nurse called me back asap and I was super impressed...but when I called Walgreens at 3:30...they still had not received the prescription.....GRRR. I shall harrass more tomorrow. I am so very curious if this will help. If not, on to try to fenugreek.

Other than that continuing issue...we are great! I am feeling good and my son is doing great! He is such a good baby, seriously. He fusses only when it is highly warranted, I am so proud. Praying this continues.

Had a good day of phone calls yesterday and today. My sweet friend Erika called yesterday from Phoenix to check in on us. I miss her and it was so nice to catch up! And then today, I had a call from our pastor, Dr Wende to congratulate us on Zach's arrival. He has been praying for Matt and I all the way from the beginning of trying, the entire pregnancy and now he will continue through Zach's life. He is such a cool guy and I appreciated the personal phone call. And speaking of personal calls.....the pediatrician we saw on our emergency visit on Thursday called today to check on us! OK, I am sold! Yes, the actual doctor, not the nurse or anything, called to see how Zach and I were doing. Talk about bedside manners! So, even though she wasnt the doc I had chosen originally (this one day shares with the one we "picked" but that one didnt work Thursdays so we saw Dr. Assef instead), she will be now! I am super impressed! We go back on the 28th for 2 week check up.

Ok, I have rambled enough. Happy birthday again to my sweet boy...time for another meal for you! :)

Almost a week!

WOW, last week at this time...we were in the hospital and trying to get to sleep until we heard the screaming woman come into the L&D at 10cm! YOUCHIE!

So what's been going on this week you ask? Well, I updated you on the whole BFing issue. Trying to pump and pump and do all my other things but no real answer yet. Hoping to either get prescription or start Fenugreek this week and see how that improves my supply. I am able to do about 2 feedings a day from BM so thats better than nothing I guess?

What else? I cant get over this feeling, I cannot imagine my life without Zach already!! He is so perfect, I could stare at him all day long. Just adorable and changing every day! He is a really good baby too so far, we just hope it lasts!

Matt's mom, Donna, came in town on Saturday to meet her first grandson and is also so in love! She is going to go by Grammy-Gram. We are so glad she was able to come in town and meet Zach, even if it was for a short visit. We hope to make it to Abilene in April-ish to meet Great Grandma Nonna and then up to Lubbock to meet Aunt Julie and her family!

The other fun thing I've learned this week is how you are so easily impressed by your own kid. I laugh when he toots, smile when he is making a grumpy in his diaper, ooh and ahh at his changing expressions, delight in his every noise! It is so much fun!!

Anyway, Matt has a holiday tomorrow so it will be our last day together. Starting on Tuesday...I am on my own! I hope I can do it okay!!!!!!!!

And for your viewing pleasure...........ZACHARY!

Breast is Best....UGH!

We're BAAaccck..... I will do an update first and then go on about the title!

We are HOME and doing well! We left the hospital on Wednesday afternoon to a beautiful spring day and arrived home to an adorable stork at the front door to greet us! It is super cute and contains all of Zachary's stats! Thank you to all the wonderful aunties...it brought a tear to my eye!



My mom stayed with us Wednesday and Thursday night to help us out. She has been a huge help just being here, helping with feedings, stuff around the house, etc. I loved having her here and I know Zachary did too...his Grandma gives him lots of love!! She left us to our own devices as Grandma Donna is coming tomorrow and mom wanted us to have a break. So we are on our own tonight!

Overall we are doing really well. Zach had his first pediatrician appointment on Thursday. His doctors didn't admit at Memorial so they wanted to see him now instead of waiting for the typical two weeks. He had already gained back some of the weight he lost at the hospital and doc thought he looked great! We are so proud!

Now onto the tough part...feeding! We did well at the hospital so we thought, but then Zach just decided the boob was not for him. Good all day long and then time to feed...totally not into it. So we had to start supplementing with formula in order to get food into him. Can't starve him for my desire to breastfeed exclusively. So.........we called a lactation consultant and she came by today. Basically, my milk hasnt come in and we have a definite supply issue. She agreed we did the right thing by supplementing which made me feel better. I was afraid she may be one of those nazis and would chastise us for putting him to the bottle so soon. But just as she said, he HAS to get his nutrients! The plan is to work on the supply issue first and then revisit the actual latching issue later. Apparently it is easier to fix than the supply thing. Plan is to PUMP away...about 10 times a day. OMG, thats a lot! I will give it a try though and see if it helps. We also are going to ask OB/GYN about some pill that could help too along with drinking some herbal tea. While Zach is on formula, we bought some new bottles that more resemble the breast and should help with transitioning back to breastfeeding IF we can get my supply in place. Unfortunately, she asked if I had any medical conditions to which I mentioned my PCOS (the issue in us getting pregnant in the first place!!)..and I got the look. Apparently people with PCOS often have supply issues due to the hormonal imbalances. UGH, it strikes AGAIN! Its funny...throughout my pregnancy, I often commented on how my breasts never got larger and wondered aloud if that meant I would have issues breastfeeding to which people always laugh and say no way. Well, apparently I was RIGHT! It is a sign/effect again due to the differences in hormones. Although this was disappointing to hear, I felt somewhat validated and also help to diminsh some of my frustration knowing that truly I have been doing and trying the best that I could do....that the lack of milk was NOT due to me not trying. In the end, I have my new plan and I am going to try it out and see if it can help. I would like to get the supply up so I could atleast bottle feed him breastmilk so for right now, that will be my goal. We will see what happens!

Anyway.......that was much longer than I had planned but felt good to get it all out. There is such an emphasis on breastfeeding and I can see how women can get so upset and frustrated with it AND how it can do a number on your self esteem! I feel like a failure and that I am letting my little man down, but ultimately I know....I was a formula baby and turned out JUST fine! ;)

Now for the fun part if you are still reading (HA!)...PICTURES! This guy is soo cute and I swear gets more handsome every day. And pictures dont even do him justice! There are more at the smugmug site too if you are inclined! Will do my best to keep updated on our goings on here and pictures on the smugmug!

Thank you again to all of our friends and family.Your support has been overwhelming and we feel so blessed to have you in our lives!!

Best Feeling in the World....

In the quiet hours of this morning...I sit here with tears in my eyes between the sleeping loves of my life! I have little Zachary on one side and my Matthew on the other! Wow, what an amazing feeling! I am still in awe of what the past 24 hours have brought us to...our little miracle!!! Matt was my ROCK yesterday to get me through the tough times and Zach, well, he is perfect. Everything I could have imagined and more!! I have a sign on my wall in Zach's nursery that says "A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty." Ain't that the truth! After everyone had left last night and it was just me and Matt, about all we could do was stare and smile at each other and at Zach....so in LOVE!

So anyway...I will post pictures and the whole birth story later on but for now, just want to leave it at that. Thank you SO much for the phone calls, texts, emails, and of course those of you that came to share in our joy in person too! You made a perfect day even better! We will probably be in the hospital till tomorrow if all goes well so you can reach us here if you need to!

Love you all!
A Mommy in Love!