I think pregnancy makes you manic.......

So today I think I have run the complete gamut of emotions..........One minute I am grinning ear to ear, the next minute I am trying to stifle my tears at my desk! Its like a 24/7 PMS!

Now to start with the good ones first:

1. One of my dearest friends is being admitted to the hospital tonight to be induced tomorrow morning!! I seriously think I MAY be almost as excited as she is! We have struggled through infertility together and she has graciously allowed me to share in all her pregnancy highs and lows. I think when I hold sweet Katie in my arms tomorrow, I may be crying as much as Becky! Happy Early Birth Day Katie! (plus she is our first girl which is pretty cool too!)
2. Gin is triggering tonight!!! That is super exciting cause that means Friday is the ER and little hawkeye is getting closer to creation!! I'm ready for another preggo buddy!
3. While looking through my brother's wedding pictures again today, I get teary eyed thinking about how excited I am to have a new sister in law and that I have never seen my big bro more happy. That's a good feeling! They are going to make a great Aunt & Uncle!
4. On the train of weddings...one of my bestest friends is getting married in 17 days! I am so excited for Al and to be part of her special day! She is going to look gorgeous!
5. I am 10w3d pregnant! This one makes me SMILE every day! Sometimes I catch myself smiling for absolutely no reason and realize I have been not working and instead day dreaming about being a mommy, making Matt a daddy to a non-furry baby, and of course finally having our folks be Grandparents!! Although I have my nervous freak outs still, I am feeling very blessed and am SO absolutely humbled and THRILLED to be carrying this baby in my belly! (which by the way I still think is a girl...once I hit 12 weeks I am sending out a poll!)
6. While at the book store thumbing through Billy Crystal's "I Already Know I Love You", I started crying happy tears! How amazing to love something the size of a strawberry and to know how many other people already love this child too! That's a "cool feeling"!

And the sad stuff:

1. One year ago yesterday we lost a sweet angel, Jake, my friend's 8 month old nephew. My heart aches for them because I know the pain is just as real as it was then. I pray for peace for them and to feel His comfort. It's been a tough year and I just want them to know that although Jake is gone he is never forgotten!
2. Thinking of Jake always gets me thinking about Rach....the last couple of weeks have been tough! I think with my baby news and Al's impending nuptials, her absence is much more felt by me. So many times I want to call her and catch up! I still feel so cheated that she left us so soon and think I maybe always will? I know she is the gaurdian angel Auntie to this baby I am carrying and I am thankful for that! I am also thankful for her parents who continue to be in our lives and help to keep her memory alive....but I still wish she was here........
3. I have a weird freckle. Yes, compared to #1 and #2 it sounds trite, but it is unnerving me a bit. I need to go see a dermatologist to get it checked out and probably a couple others too. Why is the weird freckle a big deal now? Because what if it's the big C? How do you deal with that while being pregnant? AHH!
4. I'm still in the scary stage of pregnancy. I think how happy and excited and thrilled I am and then realize that there is still that chance that something could go wrong? I think its one of those battle scars of being an infertility patient....we over worry and stress because we aren't naive because it has taken us a long time to get to where we are....oh, I could go on and now!

But after all that, I remember that the good outweighs the bad! I do worry that I drive my poor hubby crazy though with the whirlwind of emotions! Luckily the poor souls at work get to experience my manic-ness more than my hubby does!! Muuuwaahhahahahaha! ;)